Just a Quick Note

Dear Dad,
I heard your favourite song today. I love it because it reminds me so much of you but it always makes me sad too because it makes me want to hug you and you're not here. It also reminds me of the time that Brianna burnt the song for you and put it on in your CD player instead of that other crap UG had you listening to and i'm sorry things aren't like they used to be. I wish with all my heart it was different.

Nanna isn't too well. I'm really worried about her. I know i haven't seen her as much as i should have but it's because i feel so wierd and uncomfortable when i see Pop now. I never thought it would be this way. I miss the farm days. They really were the best.

I saw HER the other night. Every time i do i have to refrain from punching her in the face. She's trying to get at me through my family now. I wish she'd bugger off, she's not welcome and she knows it, she's trying to do it to shit me off.

I saw Marie and Sam the same night. I love those guys. Marie was telling me how UB came to her and i know what she means. I've felt you around, as insane as that might sound i do know you come to visit. I wish i could talk to you. We were contemplating that you and UB were catching up, it makes me smile to think of you two joking around. I sincerely hope you are.

I'm still looking for a job. I'm kind of glad the credit crunch happened when it did because it's made it harder to find something. I do want to work again and i do want money and all the other things that come with having a job and i know i have to get one, but every time i apply for something i secretly hope i won't get it because nothing will ever be as good as it was when i was working with you. I know i can't have that situation again, but it doesn't stop me wanting it.

One of my best mates ever told me a huge secret. They need help but i don't know how i can help in any other way then what i have been doing. I know if you were here your answer would be "a shotgun." They would be your exact words if you were here to listen. I'm actually smiling at that. It makes me realise even more how wonderfully lucky i am that you and Mum are the parents i ended up with.

Riley says Mum. It's so cute. He looks so much like Browny but has Caris' eyes and nose. You should be a very proud Grandpa. Or would you have preferred to have been a Pop? Or a Grandad? Maybe we should let Riley decide? He will know all about you.

So i feel like when i write this i am telling you about the things that i would talk to you about if we were sitting at work at about morning tea time and randomly discussing the weekend. I treasure those memories.

Love you now and forever, much more then words can describe,
Danica xoxoxo